Our Children's
Needs - Part 5Robert Elias Najemy Stimulus to GrowChildren
want to learn. They need to learn. Their survival and growth depend on it. All
children are full of curiosity and would remain that way all their lives if that
natural desire to learn was not turned off and, in many cases, completely destroyed
by our present educational system and general social attitudes towards children.
What are some of these factors which discourage the natural inclination of the
child toward learning? 1. The mechanical approach of the present educational
system does not allow children to investigate their natural interests. They are
required to be interested in a specific subject at a specific age and even at
a specific hour of the day. And even if they should become interested in spite
of this unnatural process, the moment they start investigating that subject, they
are told that they must now leave that, because it is now time to study another
subject. Thus our children become disconnected from their inner motivation towards
learning. They learn to accept whatever is given to them through the school system,
which occupies so much of their time, that they have virtually no time or energy
for personal study of some subject that may really interest them. Learning loses
its interest and begins to have no meaning. It is no longer pleasurable. 2.
The fact that the material they are forced to study is irrelevant to their daily
life is another factor, which dampens their interest in learning. They function
on the impulse of needs. If what they are learning has no relation to their needs,
then they lose interest in it quickly. Children are forced to memorize many useless
facts in the present system. This can hardly be considered the preparation of
a human being to be a thinking, creative member of society. It is more like the
preparation of a number of programmed robots, without the ability to analyze and
think clearly. 3. The fear of failure or of making a mistake causes our
children to feel anxiety with respect to the process of learning. Too much emphasis
is given to grades and who is better or best, rather than to how much effort they
have made, or to what they have learned. The emphasis is on results, in terms
of grades, and not on the ability to think. When they do not do well for some
reason, they are made to feel bad, rejected and inferior. This negative experience
turns them off to the process of learning. Often their only solution is
to decide to give up the effort altogether and take on the role of "the failure"
and not try at all. In such situations they develop a complex, or blockage, towards
a certain subject or towards learning in general. They say to themselves, «I
cannot do that. I am not able». Thus for the rest of their lives this belief
prevents them from enjoying growth, evolution and learning. A human being
who does not continue learning throughout his or her life is living "death"
and not "life". Life by definition means growth and evolution. Death
is the absence of growth. 4. Emotional problems with the family or friends,
or between other family members (i.e. the child's parents) may disturb our children's
sense of security and inner harmony. Thus their interest in learning and ability
to concentrate are obstructed. In such cases they need the parent to be a friend
who can hear their feelings and problems without judging or even advising unless
they ask for advice. These emotional problems must be worked out if our children¹s
energy is to be released and directed toward learning again. 5. A disappointment
in social values and hypocrisy may cause our children to reject the society in
which they live and thus all the aspects of that system, including the educational
system. When they sees that there is hypocrisy, selfishness, lying and cheating
going on at every level of society, even among policemen, lawyers, judges, politicians
and businessmen, why should they study what such a system wants them to learn
in order to become a part of that system? Who would want to be a part of that
system? Children have not yet learned to compromise their ideals for the sake
of personal security or success. (Robert Elias Najemy's recently released
book "The Psychology of Happiness" (ISBN 0-9710116-0-5) is now available
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