by Edward Mills
Last week, when I dropped Ella off at pre-school, there was a letter in her cubby from the Adapted Physical Education Teacher. She had done an assessment of Ella’s gross motor skills to track the progress she is making with her delayed left side. The assessment listed her progress in specific skill areas and gave an overall “ranking.”
At 39-months Ella’s gross motor skills are at a 21-month level. While I am well aware of Ella’s physical delay and have read various assessments in the past, there was something about this one that caused a deep sadness to well up from within me.
For some reason, I was particularly struck by the description of Ella’s jumping skills. The contrast between my perception of Ella’s attempts to jump – adorable, focused, vibrant – and the clinical terms used in the assessment – “Ella is unable to jump off the ground at this time, but she is showing emergence of this skill.” – struck me right in the heart and the tears began to flow.
I have witnessed this deep sadness in other parents and I know that I have at times been the source of this sadness for my own parents. This sadness, however, is not limited to parents of children with disabilities. It is the deep sadness that comes from watching your child – or anyone you love – struggle. It is a sadness and sense of helplessness that comes from the desire to make everything all right for your child when there is nothing that you can do.
As I drove towards my office, heart broken open, I began to wonder how God/Source/The Universe feels when she/he/it sees us struggling and living far below our potential.
It has been postulated that most of us are accessing and utilizing a mere 5-10% of our potential. If God were to have an assessment done on any of us we would certainly fall well below the “baseline” level of our potential.
Does God cry when seeing this?
My guess is no. God doesn’t strike me as one who gets caught in the trap of attachment. I believe that God sees through our struggles and into our essence. God sees our light, our full potential, shining brightly even when we don’t see it ourselves. God knows that our struggles provide the most potent opportunities to explore our self-created limitations and expand our expression of who we are.
God doesn’t get caught up in wondering what he can do to make it better. He knows that everything is perfect. Including each and every one of us!
God doesn’t wonder if she made a mistake when she created these beings (us) with limitless potential only to see them floundering to access even a tiny fraction of their power. She knows that it is through our struggles that we will, eventually, access our limitless potential.
There are times, quite often, actually, when I hold that Divine perception of Ella and see the incredible light that shines from her eyes: When I watch the intensity that she brings to her playing and learning. When I see her struggling to do things that her peers do easily. When I feel the uninhibited tenderness as she sits with me in the rocking chair and lays her head on my chest. When she gets frustrated and says, “Need help Dada,” and I encourage her to try it again. I even can hold the Divine perception of her (usually) in those moments when she connects fully with her frustration and sadness and expresses it freely.
In those moments, when I see her light, her full potential, I don’t get caught up in thinking that she is less than perfect, less than whole. I don’t look at her as a number on a scale or compare her with anyone else. I don’t wonder if I did anything “wrong” or if I somehow contributed to her disability.
But when I read that assessment, I could not stop myself from going to that place of wondering, of attachment, of deep sadness that Ella is not accessing her full potential. I got caught up in the clinical rankings and began comparing Ella and basing my perception of her on that comparison.
This experience reminded me just how tenuous our hold is on Divine perception. Our ability to see the full potential within everyone is easily shaken by our perception of the “real” physical world.
As we make our way up the vibrational scale of the Law of Attraction and move forward on our path of personal evolution, the consistency with which we hold others in the place of Divine perception can provide a valuable feedback mechanism.
Begin to pay attention to the place from which you are perceiving those around you. Are you focusing on their light or their darkness? Are you seeing their perfection or their problems? Are you appreciating their presence in your life or blaming them for what is wrong with your life?
The choice of how you perceive those around you is not always easy but it is always yours to make.
Remember that what you focus on expands in your life. If you focus on the darkness in those around you, you attract more darkness into your life. If you focus on people’s problems, you attract more problems into your own life.
If you want more joy in your life, focus on the joy you see in others. If you want more peace, focus on the peace you see in others.
I know that Ella is getting the best possible care for her condition and I recognize that she will continue to be assessed and evaluated. And while I don’t agree with the underlying concept of assessment, I accept that it is part of the system within which Ella will receive her care.
What I do know is that I will continue to hold as fully as possible onto my Divine perception of Ella. I will continue to see her perfection, her light and the joy she brings to this world. And I will hold onto the knowledge that her physical struggle is providing a powerful opportunity for her to expand her perception and expression of who she truly is.
Edward Mills is an Attraction Coach and Great Life Facilitator, helping clients and workshop particpants think, dream and play much bigger in the world. He works with individuals, groups and small business owners to help them clarify their vision and take the specific, focused steps needed to achieve them.
NOTE from Jane: I have received personal coaching from Ed, and have taken several of his classes – all excellent and life-changing. I am currently participating in Ed’s Enlightened Entrepreneur Intensive (EEI), a 6-month program that is taking my vision of Healthy Child into higher levels of manifestation and success!