Robert Elias Najemy
A human being is pretty much formed and programmed in his or her concepts about himself or herself and the surrounding world by the age of eight. Most of the work, which is done today by psychologists and psychiatrists, is to solve the problems and fill the gaps left by the experiences of those earlier years. Wouldn¹t it be better to pay more attention to how we bring up our children so that they can be stronger, more able, happier, more in harmony with themselves and their environment? The future of the world depends on our children. The quality of our children and their ability to create a better world depends on us, but not in the way most may think. Let us consider here how we can help our children and ourselves to find harmony, health and happiness.
Seeds Do Not Learn to Grow
Seeds grow into beautiful plants and huge almost immortal trees with no education or training whatsoever. What they are to become and how they are to become that, are already printed in their consciousness and chromosomes. The same is true for all the animals, plants and insects upon the earth. Is man the only exception? Are we so unintelligent that we cannot understand what we must become and how we must become that? Are we so far behind the plants and animals in this matter? Or have we destroyed this contact with our inner consciousness, our inner voice that could guide us on our way?
Adults in their well meaning way, with an exaggerated concern for their children, and an underestimation of the divine potential which lies within those small beings, inadvertently destroy that small inner voice, as they try to mould their children into what they believe their child should become. This is also true of the educational system as a whole. Thus the question, concerning how we can help our children become, more accurately, how can we help ourselves out of our mistaken concepts and anxiety about the future and lack of confidence in ourselves, our children and mankind so as not to become obstacles to the child¹s natural development?
Our emphasis should not be so much on how we can teach but on how we can learn and grow maturer emotionally, mentally and spiritually. Then the “real parent”, the divine within each child, will take over for us and for our children. We cannot help our children find the voice within them if we have not found our own. We cannot help our children to be healthy if we have not created health for ourselves. We cannot help them have self-confidence unless we ourselves have it. Their self-respect depends on our self-respect, their inner peace on ours, and their self-mastery on our self-mastery. Learning through example is much more effective for children than learning through words. When the person who gives advice is not an example of those words, then not only do those words have no power, but they create a feeling of resentment and rejection towards the hypocrisy which is so obvious. All children are idealists. They expect there to be a consistency between thoughts, words and actions. When there is not, they feel insecure, they do not know what to believe. Consistency gives a child a feeling of security and respect.
What Are Their Needs?
This list of children’s needs will by no means be complete. These are some of the obvious needs that come to mind at this moment. When I asked a small group of children to think about the basic needs of children, one child shocked me with the most simple answers. She said, “The first need of children is PARENTS”. How simple, how obvious, and yet today how fragile is that assurance that the child will have the same two parents from its birth until adulthood. “The second need of children”, she said, “is to have a good relationship with your parents”. This 11 year-old child was telling me what took so many psychologists so many years to understand and verify.
In working with adults with various emotional problems, most difficulties seem to originate from the lack of affirmation of love and acceptance during their childhood. When this base of love and acceptance is missing, then we have a lot of work to do in our adult life in order to regain that self-love and self-acceptance. When this base of love is there as a child, then we can proceed on to other needs and activities. When it is not there, then whatever we will do in our lives will have as a major motive, proving our ability and our self-worth.
Children need to feel secure. Few feel secure when there are conflicts occurring around them. Few can relax inwardly when others around them are shouting, accusing, criticizing and hating each other. To a small child, tension between parents, or between parents and the child or other children, constitute a deep chasm of insecurity.
When the conflict is between the parents, it is often worse for the child. The child has not yet learned to feel separate itself from the parents. It feels identification with both parents. Thus when they are in conflict, it feels that the conflict is taking place between two parts of its own being. It might even begin hating itself as a result.
Children cannot feel secure if the parents do not feel secure. If we are constantly worrying and have anxiety about money, health and the future, then our children will automatically be programmed to feel insecure about these aspects of life. This insecurity will remain with them and they will waste large portions of time, energy and thought throughout their life, trying in vain to find «security» by controlling these external circumstances. As adults, it is possible that this inner programming that we are not secure may never be appeased. Thus the most effective way to offer a security base to our children is not to be found in providing them with a large inheritance but rather to establish an inner feeling of security within ourselves. If we believe in ourselves and in our ability to cope with all of life¹s situations, the child will feel the same. As we feel more secure, we will have less moments of conflict with others and our home will be in general more peaceful and more supportive for the child.
We all know that a child needs love and we want to be able to love our children unconditionally; but it is not so easy. We are human beings with needs, feelings, expectations, attachments, fears and conditionings which prevent us from being able to accept tour children independently of their behavior. Having children is an excellent opportunity in life to develop unconditional love. We are more inclined to forgive, overlook and to continue loving when we feel that this is our child.
What do we mean by unconditional love? We mean that our feelings of love and acceptance for our children do not change or fluctuate depending on what they do or say, or what they decide to do with their lives. It is not necessary to love and accept our children¹s behavior. We must make a distinction between our children¹s being, soul or consciousness and their behavior. We can reject a certain behavior, and explain so to them, without rejecting their being or self. “I love you but I am disturbed by this particular behavior.”
Our children need to know that we accept and love them regardless of what they may do, but also that certain forms of behavior are not acceptable to us. We should, however, investigate for ourselves why this behavior is not acceptable. Is it because it will be potentially harmful to the child, to someone else, or to ourselves? Or is it simply because we are programmed that it should not be done? Or does the behavior conflict with our expectations based on our personal needs and dreams for the child? Or are we afraid of what the others will think about our child and subsequently about us?
We must be very clear about why we are rejecting a certain behavior. Our rejection can come out of a place of real love and concern for the child, if, in fact, we are not simply protecting our own interests. As long as a certain behavior does no real harm to anyone, it is best to allow the child to pursue it. Something within them, some need is guiding them to explore that kind of activity. They have something to learn through doing that. This does not mean that there are not moments where control or even natural or logical consequences may be necessary. But we need to be sure that the reasons are valid and have to do with real issues of safety or morality and not because we are disappointed with the their grades or selection of hobbies, interests or friends.
In order to love our children unconditionally, we will need to start loving ourselves unconditionally. We will have to let go of all the prerequisites we have put on our own self-love. We will need to love ourselves even though we are not perfect, even though we make mistakes, even when others do not love and accept us. The more we free our self-love from the various prerequisites, the more our love for our children and others will become unconditional.
Everyone likes a pat on the back, recognition, strokes, praise or affirmation of his or her ability, goodness and worthiness. Our children have not yet formed images of themselves and need these positive inputs even more than adults. Children are not sure if they are able or not. They are small in such a large world. They are learning and thus making many mistakes as they try to learn how to do things correctly.
In our attempt to help our children we often tend to point out their mistakes more frequently than their successes. The mistakes are what are more obvious and thus we feel the need to point them out. The successes are taken for granted. We over-emphasize what our children do wrong. This undermines their sense of ability, and they start to doubt whether they can really succeed. Thus they become preoccupied, worrying about whether they will be able to do it, and whether they will be criticized. Thus little energy is left for focusing on what they are actually doing so that they can do it correctly and succeed. Then, if our children’s performance suffers, we become even more critical. This creates a vicious circle in which our children’s sense of ability, success and worthiness is completely undermined.
Later in life we seek incessantly to prove that we are okay, a success, by attempting to gain money, fame and respect from others. But it is a losing battle because inside us we are programmed to believe that we are not okay, not able. Although we may become very successful, we will likely be unable to satiate our need to prove our ability over and over. On the other hand, we may simply perpetuate the belief that we are failures and create continual failure in life, by undermining our success in relationships and at work and perhaps our sense of self-worth through alcohol, drugs, tranquilizers or other means.
If we want our children to succeed, to accept themselves, to be happy and to have the self-confidence which is required to proceed in life, then we must give them plenty of positive affirmation of their ability and goodness.
A Simple Technique
A simple technique will help. Every day sit quietly for a few moments and relax your body and mind so that you can concentrate. (Breathing deeply a number of times will help). When you feel relaxed and concentrated, then bring your child to your mind. Visualize the child healthy, happy and full of self-confidence. Now bring to mind five positive qualities or characteristics that you recognize in that child. Imagine these positive qualities increasing every day. Then again see your child in the screen of your mind, full of light, health and happiness. Imagine yourself and the child in loving embrace, or dancing or singing or in any type of harmonious, happy communication. This will take from about five to ten minutes.
When the opportunity occurs naturally, we can then inform the child of these qualities or abilities, which we recognize in him or her.
We need to let our children know that we love them, respect them, and believe in their ability to make decisions, to be responsible and to cope with life. But we also need to clarify that your love is independent from the positive characteristics or abilities, which we recognize in them. They should not be left to feel that we love them more because they do well in school, or sports, or are pretty or handsome, or capable. Our love and respect should not be associated with specific qualities. Otherwise they will get the message that they must always be this way or else the others will not love and respect them. This will create anxiety.
Affirming our children will help them develop the strengths and abilities they need to be successful and happy in life. It will also do wonders for our relationships with them. It is much more effective than criticizing and blaming them for their mistakes. Mistakes should be pointed out for the sake of learning from them, but not for the purpose of rejecting the other or making them feel badly.
Also, we need to gain our own self-confidence. Otherwise we might be intimidated by our children’s abilities and subconsciously want to undermine their success or intelligence. This sometimes occurs between fathers and sons, or mothers and daughters, when the children are entering adolescence. It is sometimes difficult for us to accept that our children have their own ideas and almost impossible for our ego to accept that these ideas may be better or more advanced than ours. We as parents may subconsciously be motivated to play power games with our children, rejecting them because of our insecurities. As our children enter adolescence, we must gradually learn to let go of our previous roles and become more of a friend or counselor (who gives advice when asked). Otherwise a conflict may arise between our children who need to assert and affirm their personality, and us the parents, who do not want to let go of our roles of directors of their lives.
Do Not Worry
Worry is a direct message to our children that we do not feel secure, that we do not feel able to face the tests and difficulties of life. It is a direct message that we believe (and therefore it is true) that life is dangerous, that human beings (and therefore our children) are weak and helpless and very vulnerable to these dangers of life.
When we worry about the child, we are saying, between the lines, «I do not have faith in you, in your ability to overcome the illness or this problem. I do not have faith in your discrimination, in your inner strength, in your ability to surpass this difficulty». All this undermines our children¹s inner strength and faith in life itself.
It is also an indirect but clear message that we do not believe (and therefore it is not true) in the existence of a divine power, a divine wisdom and justice, a God, which is in some way connected with every being on the earth, and is sustaining and guiding each being. Our children then mature into adults who will believe that the world is chaos, that harm can come to us through accident and that we are helpless to do anything about it. They will feel weak, helpless, vulnerable victims living in a dangerous world. Their basic reaction will be that which they learned from their parents – worry, anxiety and fear.
If we really want to help our children, we will develop our inner strength and ability to face life. We will develop greater faith in the spiritual truths confirmed by all religions and spiritual philosophies. We will increase our faith in divine wisdom and justice, which is bringing to us exactly the experiences we need in order to mature emotionally, mentally and spiritually. We also need to understand that our children are being guided by that same spiritual force, and are also passing through exactly the experiences they must pass through, in order to blossom into the great spiritual beings that they really are.
A diamond starts out as a piece of coal and only through great pressure does it become a diamond. And when it is found it must be cut and rubbed so that its beauty may shine through. Gold is found in ore with other impurities. Only when it is melted and banged into shape does it take on a beautiful form. The same is true with the human personality. By facing difficulties, which test its inner strength and diminish its egoism, it grows more beautiful on all levels. The greatest gift that we can give to our children is faith. Faith in themselves and their abilities. Faith in ourselves. Faith in God. Faith in life. Faith in the immortality and indestructibility of the soul. And for those who accept the concept of reincarnation, faith in the fact that our children have lived thousands of lives and have grown into adulthood and died many times. They have millions of experiences stored in their soul memory. They have an inner voice that will guide them.
Stimulus to Grow
Children want to learn. They need to learn. Their survival and growth depend on it. All children are full of curiosity and would remain that way all their lives if that natural desire to learn was not turned off and, in many cases, completely destroyed by our present educational system and general social attitudes towards children. What are some of these factors which discourage the natural inclination of the child toward learning?
1. The mechanical approach of the present educational system does not allow children to investigate their natural interests. They are required to be interested in a specific subject at a specific age and even at a specific hour of the day. And even if they should become interested in spite of this unnatural process, the moment they start investigating that subject, they are told that they must now leave that, because it is now time to study another subject. Thus our children become disconnected from their inner motivation towards learning. They learn to accept whatever is given to them through the school system, which occupies so much of their time, that they have virtually no time or energy for personal study of some subject that may really interest them. Learning loses its interest and begins to have no meaning. It is no longer pleasurable.
2. The fact that the material they are forced to study is irrelevant to their daily life is another factor, which dampens their interest in learning. They function on the impulse of needs. If what they are learning has no relation to their needs, then they lose interest in it quickly. Children are forced to memorize many useless facts in the present system. This can hardly be considered the preparation of a human being to be a thinking, creative member of society. It is more like the preparation of a number of programmed robots, without the ability to analyze and think clearly.
3. The fear of failure or of making a mistake causes our children to feel anxiety with respect to the process of learning. Too much emphasis is given to grades and who is better or best, rather than to how much effort they have made, or to what they have learned. The emphasis is on results, in terms of grades, and not on the ability to think. When they do not do well for some reason, they are made to feel bad, rejected and inferior. This negative experience turns them off to the process of learning.
Often their only solution is to decide to give up the effort altogether and take on the role of “the failure” and not try at all. In such situations they develop a complex, or blockage, towards a certain subject or towards learning in general. They say to themselves, «I cannot do that. I am not able». Thus for the rest of their lives this belief prevents them from enjoying growth, evolution and learning.
A human being who does not continue learning throughout his or her life is living “death” and not “life”. Life by definition means growth and evolution. Death is the absence of growth.
4. Emotional problems with the family or friends, or between other family members (i.e. the child’s parents) may disturb our children’s sense of security and inner harmony. Thus their interest in learning and ability to concentrate are obstructed. In such cases they need the parent to be a friend who can hear their feelings and problems without judging or even advising unless they ask for advice. These emotional problems must be worked out if our children¹s energy is to be released and directed toward learning again.
5. A disappointment in social values and hypocrisy may cause our children to reject the society in which they live and thus all the aspects of that system, including the educational system. When they sees that there is hypocrisy, selfishness, lying and cheating going on at every level of society, even among policemen, lawyers, judges, politicians and businessmen, why should they study what such a system wants them to learn in order to become a part of that system? Who would want to be a part of that system? Children have not yet learned to compromise their ideals for the sake of personal security or success.
What Can Parents Do?
What can parents do about this situation? How can we provide a home environment that will stimulate the process of holistic learning for our children?
We can start by spending more time with our children, learning with them. Not teaching them. Not solving problems for them. Not answering their questions. But sitting down and learning with them. This might mean that we set an example by using our free time for learning whatever is interesting for us. We would best allow our children to develop their own problem solving abilities and to help them only when they are stuck. Even then we should not solve the problem, but rather ask them questions that will direct their mind in an analytical way so that they themselves discover the answer. This is the “questioning” method used by the philosopher Socrates is very effective in bringing forth the truth, which is hidden within.
Questions are our best tool for helping. If that does not work, then the we can imagine that we know nothing (which in some cases, in this ever changing system of information, may be true) and we can begin together with the child, to search where we might find answers. This research may take us to our children’s schoolbooks, or to encyclopedias, magazines, newspapers, the worldwide web – Internet or to persons or friends knowledgeable in a particular subject. In this way our children begin to perceive that the world around them is a «giant book» from which they can always learn and find out what they want to know. In this way learning is connected to life, and life to learning.
Some parents feel that they are unqualified to help their children with their schoolwork. If we ourselves feel incapable, how do we expect our children to learn them. We need to overcome our fears and set the example by learning and growing.
We often deprive ourselves and our children of quality time together so that we can make more money so as to pay for special classes and schools. We make money but have less time to spend with our children. We become tense and tired and have less patience and energy for our children.
Our children see us less and, when they do, they are asked about their grades and whether they have studied. They are seldom asked about their emotional life, hobbies, fears, and problems. The standard question is, “Have you studied?” We might be healthier on all levels if we worked less, saved the money spent on teachers and special schools and spent the time with the child, learning together.
Children, just like adults, expect consistency from the people around them. Consistency means that there is an agreement between what we think, what we say and what we do.
When we tell them not to smoke and smokes ourselves, this is not consistent. When we tell them not to tell lies and then tell obvious lies to others in front of them, how can they respect us? When we have two sets of standards, one for ourselves and one for our children, they feel lessened, disregarded, unloved, disrespected.
When a mother forbids a child to wear make-up and spends time making up her own face, how can the child understand the obvious double message being given? When we give one message with our words and another with our lifestyle, our children become seriously confused.
They are being given a conflicting set of messages, a conflicting set of values, and do not know which is true. This leads to inner conflict and insecurity. It may also lead to bitterness and resentment against the parents, teachers and society. Why should they respect and emulate a society of weak human beings who don¹t even have the strength to live up to their own values and are unable themselves to employ their own advice. Thus the age-old «teach by example, rather than words», seems to be the best policy.
Another aspect of consistency has to do with promises. It is very important to keep our word to our children. When we promise we are going to do something, or that they are going to be able to do something, it is extremely important that these words become reality. When we go back on our promises, they lose trust, not only in us, but also in mankind in general. They learn that people’s words do not bind them to action and that they cannot trust anyone. They also learn that they, too, do not have to keep their word. This makes them feel like isolated beings in a society of people they cannot trust.
When we promise that we will take them somewhere or do something with them or for them, we must make every possible effort to fulfil that promise. This means that we must also be more careful about what we promise. If we are not sure that we can execute a request, then it is better to say, “I am not sure, I will try, but I do not promise definitely that I will be able to”. If we want our children to take their words and promises seriously, then we must teach them to do so with our example.
This also applies to promises for punishment or logical consequences in the case of certain kinds of behavior or contracts which have been made with our children. When we have made an agreement that they will not go out to play until some specific duty or studies are completed, and then let them go out even though the agreement has not been fulfilled, we are again giving them the message that our words do not mean anything. We teach them that they can be irresponsible and get away with it. They then apply the same tactics as adults at home, at work and in society.
When we have agreed with our children about a certain plan of cooperation and behavior in the home (through discussion and participation) and they do not fulfil it, then it is imperative that the consequences be enforced, however unpleasant they may be for us and the children. It is best if the child agrees to the consequences before hand, so that there is less feeling of hurt or injustice.
Communication is the process, which opens up a channel of love, understanding and union between people. When it is lacking, no amount of money, education or material goods can bridge the gap that is created.
Few of us have enough time, inner peace and energy to communicate deeply with our children. We need to spend more time talking with children rather than at or down to them. Children, like adults, want to feel connected to others. They want to feel connected to their parents and teachers and others who are models in their lives. They want to be able to express how they feel, what they are thinking about, their fears, their joys, their questions about life, their ideas and creative inventions and discoveries. They want to know that someone cares, that someone recognizes them, that someone is interested in hearing about them, appreciates them and respects them.
They, too, want to know what their parents and others are feeling, and thinking. This friendship is one of our children¹s most important needs. We can become our children’s friends.
Children want to know why. Why is the world like it is? Why they are expected to do certain tasks? Why they must not engage in certain activities? Why parents feel and act in the way that they do? When we say to our children, “No, you may not do that because I said so”, we are insulting their intelligence. We are saying that they are stupid, unable and unworthy of any explanation on that matter. “Just do what I tell you. You do not need to know why I do not want you to do that”. We usually resort to such demeaning behavior when we are not sure of ourselves, or have not clearly examined our motives and feelings, or simply have the need to play power games to boost our own sense of self-affirmation. It is absolutely essential to explain the factors and thoughts which bring us to our decisions. Then they will understand what is going on in us and simultaneously feel that at least they are respected enough to deserve an explanation, even if they do not agree with it.
When we do not discuss with them, they turn inward and conclude that trying to communicate with us is futile. They begin to lie and hide the truth about their life style. In such a case, the bridge of communication is destroyed and consequently the only tool for resolving family problems is lost. The same happens when we continually reject whatever they say or do. They stop communicating.
In order for us to be able to express our inner thoughts and feelings to our children, we will have to know them. That means we will have to do a certain amount of self-analysis so as to discover our beliefs and programmings. We may, in the process, find that many of our conflicts with our children are based on our own problems, which we are projecting onto them. Some examples might be:
1. Our own need for approval from society through our children’s success or behavior.
2. Our own need for a position of power over the child.
3. Our own fears and insecurities.
4. Our lack of self-confidence which causes us to lack faith in the child.
5. Our fear of the opinion of others.
6. Our anxieties about other problems in our lives, i.e., work, money worries and problems with our own parents.
7. Our own tired or disturbed nervous system.
These and many other personal problems may cause us to communicate abruptly, inconsiderately, and disrespectfully to our children, thus undermining their self-image, self-acceptance, self-love and self-confidence.
We would do well to learn the basic communication skills of “I-messages” and “active listening” which are described in other chapters of this book. In general, more effective communication creates an atmosphere of justice and mutual respect, caring and love. We all need this.
Techniques for Facing Life
Life is a game. Playing that game is an art and a science. There are techniques for facing life more effectively. Like everything else we teach in schools, we can teach about how to deal with life itself, with its disappointments, its failures, its injustices; with illness, with pain, with the loss of loved ones, with the ever changing events and tests of life.
Life is a school and we can learn much from it, if we know how. Children can be taught how to learn rather than how to memorize often-useless facts. They can learn techniques for creating and maintaining a strong, healthy body, a relaxed nervous system and harmonious endocrine system. They can be taught how to strengthen their immune system. They can be taught how to calm their minds, how to expand the ability to concentrate, remember and analyze. They can be taught how to get in touch with their inner creative potential, so important in science, fine arts and business. How to create loving relationships. How to become useful members of a society.
Are these subjects not more important than all most meaningless facts which children are wasting their minds on memorizing? Do we want to produce sleeping robots or alive, awake, thinking, creative, healthy, happy, useful members of society? We had better make the decision and adjust our curriculum accordingly.
Beyond very practical techniques for harmonizing the body, emotions and mind, schools and parents should make sure that children have the opportunity to be informed about, and discuss, important subjects like relationships, selecting a marriage partner, sex, narcotics, effective communication, love, the nature of man, the purpose of life, what is death, what happens after death, professional guidance, the relationship between the individual and society.
Most individuals in our present society seem to lack preparation or serious thought concerning these subjects which are essential for anyone who wants to have peace of mind or live a meaningful life.
Until such subjects are covered in schools, it is important that parents give their children an opportunity to be informed about and discuss these subjects. If the parents do not feel comfortable about, or informed enough themselves, then they can become so. This will improve greatly the quality of their own lives, and they will have so much more to offer to their children.
Some Last Thoughts
We can remember how we felt when we were children. We can spend time remembering our various experiences feelings and needs which we had when we were children. But even that is not enough. The conditions and environment of our childhood years were very different than those which our children experience today. Thus we must imagine that we are our children and try to understand how they feel. Then our words and actions will be in harmony with their needs.
We need to believe in our children and ourselves. If we do not believe in ourselves, we cannot believe in our children. Let us have faith that both we and they are capable of facing life with inner guidance, clarity and effectiveness. Let us believe in our spiritual oneness and the power of unconditional love is the solution for every problem. Let us be consistent and respect ourselves and our children.
Let us continue our own education, our own growth, our own self-improvement, our own spiritual evolution. Let us be true to who we are and overcome our egos, our fears and attachments. Let us spend time with our children and share with them the beauty of our inner selves. Let us grow together in humility and simplicity with our children, discovering together the meaning and beauty of life.
Let us close with some words from Maria Montessori:
“Without any doubt we have in the past been the unconscious oppressors of this new human seed which bursts forth pure and charged with energy. And we have superimposed ourselves upon it without admitting the needs of its spiritual expansion. So the child has remained almost completely hidden – or very much overshadowed – by this unconscious egotism of the adult. It would be an affirmation not too well received, I imagine, were I to say that very often the adult becomes an obstacle, rather than a help to the development of the child. It is a most difficult thing for us to accept that statement that, very often, it is our excessive care for the child which prevents the exercise of his own activities, and therefore the expansion of his own personality.”
“Thus it comes to pass that when we, with the very best intentions and with the most sincere wish to help, do everything for the child – when we wash him, lift him up and plunk him down on his chair, feed him, and put him into that species of cage we call his crib – in giving him all these unnecessary aids we do not really help but hinder him.
“And later on, towards the boy or girl, we repeat the same error, when – still holding to the belief that he cannot learn anything without our help – we stuff him with intellectual nourishment, we nail him to the benches of the school so that he cannot move, we make every effort to uproot his moral defects, we crush or break his will, secure in our belief that in this way we are acting for his highest good.”
“And so we proceed in this manner indefinitely all along the line; and we call this education. “
Robert Elias Najemy has 18 books published in Greek which have sold over 90,000 copies. He is the author of hundreds of articles published in England, Australia, India and Greece. He has developed a program for Self Analysis, Self Discovery, Self Knowledge, Self Improvement, Self Transformation and Self Realization. This system combines a wide variety of well tested ancient and modern techniques and concepts. He studied psyhcology, philosophy, religion, the arts, and health sciences and met on his path teachers from various traditions such as Swamis Satchitananda, Chitananda, Satyananda, Vishnudevanada, Muktinanda, Baba Ram Dass, Osho and found his basic spiritual inspiration in Satya Sai Baba. He has also studied in depth the teachings of Christ, and is familiar with the ways of the Christian monasteries in Greece. Click below to learn more and purchase his e-books: