The world has changed, and we’re adjusting to new ways of living without any sense of how long this will go on. We’re heading into a winter of continued pandemic, and the constant fear-based news remains unsettling.
How are you holding up?
Maybe you’ve got the job of “homeschooler” while also trying to work from home. It’s especially hard if your child struggles with online learning. Maybe you’re having a lot of tough moments. Your kids are probably dealing with strong feelings about missing out on things. You might be worried about the impact of social isolation, too much screen time and continual mask-wearing on your little ones.
You can expect behavior issues from your kids as a normal response to stress. You are likely to be getting more whining, sibling fighting, rudeness, sleep issues, and regression into old behaviors.
And what about you and your need for connection? How are you feeling about your life being interrupted and upended? Are you feeling overwhelmed with all the extra burden?
Parenting is hard enough in normal situations, but this ongoing pandemic can cause a huge amount of stress, anxiety, overwhelm, sadness and heartache for parents.
Take some deep breaths.
What if you saw this as an opportunity? An opportunity to slow way down and be present and connect with your kids in a deeper way than ever before? To trust that something better can come out of this. If you’ve been longing to have a more fulfilling experience in parenting and a better relationship with your kids, perhaps now is the time.
The most important thing you can do for your family in this challenging time is to cultivate a sense of calm and happiness within yourself so you can create a peaceful home of love and connection. How about creating a state of calm bliss within yourself? Yes, this is possible.
Kids look to their parents to determine how to react to something bad happening. They’re tuning in and watching you carefully to learn how to respond to all the uncertainty. They feel what you’re feeling more than what you are saying. If you’re anxious and tense, they can feel that within themselves.
What do you want your children to remember from this period in time?
The memories that people have during times of crisis get deeply embedded in the subconscious. Impressions that your children pick up during this time will stick with them. They will especially remember how they felt about what was happening – their emotional state. What they will remember most about this time is how it felt to be at home with their family.
What if your children could look back on this time of the big pandemic, and the thing that struck them the most was that their home was a fun and peaceful place of love and connection? And this was a time that they felt the safest and most connected with you?
What if this was the time that they learned how to be calm, grateful and happy – no matter what was happening. It was a period of time in their childhood when they tapped into their inner resiliency, and this changed how they lived the rest of their lives.
Maybe that’s the gift in all of this. This can be the greatest opportunity for you and your family.
What’s important right now is for you to feel as good as you can possibly feel, so your kids can feel your emotional stability, your love and resiliency versus your stress, fear or irritation. Which is why it’s so important to take care of yourself.
You can’t put yourself at the bottom of the list. If you’re depleted, you have nothing to give and everyone suffers. Do you want your kids to have the best of you or what’s left of you? No matter how positive your intentions, you can’t be a good parent when you’re stressed out and depleted. If you’re overloaded and running on empty, you will fall apart when your kids are acting out their own stress.
Self-care. Oh yeah, that.
Self-care has become the new buzzword in parenting. Moms talk about scheduling “me time” as if it’s something that they need to grab on to and make happen somewhere within an already busy and impossible schedule. That’s why it doesn’t happen.
I think about self-care in a much deeper way – it’s re-parenting yourself with love and compassion. If you don’t have time to “do self-care”, you can nurture yourself in small ways throughout the day. You can make moment-to-moment choices to give yourself the love that you so deeply deserve, whether it’s doing small things to make you feel better or simply responding lovingly to your own thoughts. When you shift your energy and how you feel about yourself, it’s amazing how it can change your whole family and what’s happening around you.
There will always be moments when you lose it. We all do. Self-care is making it a habit to tune into yourself throughout the day, regularly monitoring your mood and tending to your thoughts and emotions so you can adjust, rewind, and return to a feel-good state. With practice you can more frequently feel your inner happiness.
So that at the end of the day, you feel good about yourself and not depleted. So that everyone around you feels better.
It’s true that when mom is happy, everyone is happy – and everything goes so much better! How much fun, happiness, joy and bliss can you experience with your kids?
Imagine what it would be like to feel calmer, less overwhelmed and more energized. Imagine what it would be like when you establish a sense of peace and calm in your home. Imagine having deeper levels of connection and conversations with your kids. Maybe they’re even cooperating more and helping out around the house – and rebelling less.
I want to help you get there. I know it won’t happen unless it’s easy to do and doesn’t take much time. So I’ve put together some quick and easy things that will help you find your way. This will go a long way in creating that calm, peaceful home you are looking for amidst the craziness that’s happening all around you. Let’s get you into a state of calm bliss!